attilatehbun: ([i don't have feelings])
[personal profile] attilatehbun
So, canning.

I've been doing this for a couple years and this season I went full fucking bore. We've done tomato sauce pretty regularly because okay I am Italian, when it hits August a klaxon starts going off in my head all

RED SAUCE RED SAUCE RED SAUCE RED SAUCE RED SAUCE RED SAUCE

until I get off my ass and buy thirty pounds of tomatoes and stick em through the grinder. The canning started out secondary to the sauce making, simply because we didn't have the storage space for that much sauce. And now it is becoming our fucking way of life.

I actually got my shit together this season, and I don't think a SINGLE FUCKING WEEKEND went by without me sticking some sort of vegetable in a mason jar and boiling the fuck out of it. Don't even want to think about how much in the hole I am to the farmers market but whatever whatever that's what it's there for.

ANYWAY

Did the last batch of canning/etc this weekend, because the green beans are fucking done and I had to get one last batch in. Of course, it was a giant clusterfuck, because I was due for it, but I made it through because I AM THE CANNING CHAMPION /VICTORY LAP


All these pics are from various canning sessions over the season, fyi.

FIRSTLY when I was going the tomatoes, this year I was like fuck blanching 30 pounds of tomatoes in teeny bowls on my counter GET ME A GIANT BUCKET

So I got me a giant bucket



OF COURSE first you gotta set shit up, right? Especially when you are starting at 10 in the fucking morning



AND THEN YOU CHOP

AND CHOP

AND CHOP AND CHOP AND CHOP



UNTIL YOU HAVE FILLED EVERY SINGLE BOWL IN YOUR HOUSE AND YOU ARE WEEPING. WEEPING




blah blah blah it goes the grinder and those pics looks ugly as shit so SKIPPING HOWEVER, I do want it noted that my kitchen aid makes little poops of seeds and skins and i find this utterly hilarious because of course I am fucking twelve. Poops. POOPS!

But eventually it becomes sauce~~~~



and then gets boiled boiled boiled



because, and write this down kids, BOTULISM IS NOT YOUR FRIEND

/points at eyes
/points at you

CHECK THIS EQUIPMENT




Of course, tomaters are not the only thing that gets done, Chez Atti. Our big thing this year was GREEN BEANS. Spicy pickled green beans

And since we are talking about ME, well, obsessive over-organization is always at the fricking party.



I don't just toss the beans in a freaking pile. No. No. Have you met me? No. I make piles. Of the nice straight ones, of the marginals, of the CURLY CURLY CURLY ones, of the shrimpies.

AND THEN I LINE EVERYTHING UP IN A FUCKING ROW



I even line up the overflows in a bowl



Yeah. Yeah.



Quite frankly, what are pickled green beans without obsessively organized spices? NOTHING THAT'S WHAT.



So you put that in, then pack em in your sterilized jars



while attempting not to burn your hands off on boiling glass

Then into the pot where you hope you don't hear a strange BWOOONG noise that means THE FUCKING BOTTOM OF YOUR JAR JUST BROKE OFF AND DROPPED ALL YOUR SPICES INTO THE BOILING WATER AAAAAAAaaaaaaa


FINALLY. Finally. You get your product. We had something like 4 gallons of sauce, 2 gallons of pickled beans, and a couple quarts of jalepenos and garlic.





AND IN CONCLUSION





SOME THINGS OF NOTE
:: You can track the progress of the day by the movement of my coffee cup and when it suddenly transforms into beer
:: HA HA every surface in my house is covered with the oddest assortment of crap BECAUSE ATTI FAILS AT TIDINESS
:: In just about every one of these, there is a cat just outside the frame.
:: Toodles likes to sit on the cookbooks and watch all the hustle and bustle
:: Smee prowls around on the floor because he is a freak and is desperately hoping that a tomato is going to fall so he can nom it. THE CAT LOVES TOMATOES I DO NOT EVEN he thinks he's a people


AND THAT ENDS THE NONSENSICAL CANNING PICSPAM what what idgi /off to do the final pints

Semi-relatedly, I finally found my scanner cables so I can do my con reports yay!
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